The Memory: Key to Freedom and Knowing Thyself
I am learning the power of the memory. I am learning that remembering is what is keeping me blocked and stuck. It was my recent fast that helped me to realize that so much of what drives my behavior has to do with me remembering specific beliefs, experiences and feelings.
Now don't get me wrong, remembering some things are good. For instance, remembering that if I place my hand in fire, I will get burned. GOOD THING!!!!! Okay?
But, if I am seeking to eat healthier and one of my blocks to embracing my healthy lifestyle is my remembrance of the taste of sugar, then maybe I need to think about forgetting that.
What I seek to do is remember who I really am. Like so many people, I have forgotten who I really am.
It is largely by Divine Design AND human conditionings that we forget who we are. And now I see that REMEMBERING what is told to us about ourselves and buying into these descriptions are KEY to our staying stuck in mental and emotional patterns and behaviors that lead us to places where we do not desire to be.
A block to living in the now instead of in the memory is judgment. Oh, how much do I judge myself for what I do when all I need to do is forget. Lose the memory. It is the judgment that keeps me stuck.
Combine that with remembering and re-living negative memories day after day and you have a sister who continually finds herself in meltdown mode.
A movie that I watched drove this home for me. It is called 50 First Dates with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler.
Drew's character was in a car accident and everyday she awakens thinking it is a day in October, her father's birthday.
There is a series of activities that she always does on that day and she repeats these over and over with no remembrance that she has done the very same things the day prior.
Her father and brother keep up this illusion for her by setting up each day so that Drew thinks it is that day in October. Enter Adam Sandler's character.
He sees her one day and decides that he is interested in her. She has no interest in him and of course does not remember each day he approaches her that she has ever met him.
Adam decides to pursue her hot and heavy. So every morning he seeks to do something to catch her attention and affection.
At some point her father and brother realize that she does have some memory of Adam because she sings a particular song only on the days that she interacts with him. Drew even keeps a daily journal of her meetings with Adam but does not remember any of it in her short term memory from day to day.
Eventually, after quite a number of other events, they get married.
This is what happens each day afterward:
Drew's character awakens seeing a note telling her to watch the video on the television. She watches and sees all that has transpired in her life so that she will remember who she is and what her life is like.
This movie helped me to realize that everyday, I awaken and put in a tape and remember who I am.
I upload all of the past failures. I have to remember that I am a loser with a low-self esteem and overweight. In order to be me I have to remind myself that I am not rich, famous or even professionally where I desire to be.
I tell myself so much about what is wrong with me.
BUT NOW I seek to awaken each day and tell myself the following:
"I live in a Beneficent and Benevolent Universe always conspiring in my favor."
"I am a Divine Being with a purpose and that purpose is to be happy and to experience joy."
"I love myself."
"I am tapped into the presence, power and wisdom of the Divine Source of all."
"I am a goddess."
What I seek to do is to awaken each day in the present moment rather than in the past of hell and torment.
And despite the failure of Drew's short-term memory, it was apparent that there was a part of her that did not forget the truth because she sang the song each day she saw Adam.
And it was her journal that made her realize that though she could not remember her meetings with Adam, they did occur.
This is our life. This is the journey back to self. This is the place that we desire to remember...the truth that we are Divine Consciousness in a body merely in this Earth plane to experience and create great works.
The energy of Kali/Oya say to us, "Let go and don't look back!" Just like Lot's wife in the Bible, she turned back and looked at the city from which she fled and turned into a pillar of salt.
Looking back from a place of limitation can do just that: arrest our forward movement.
Instead of looking back I seek to BE in the present moment. I think that maybe BEING does not SEEM to be enough at times. But really, it IS. I have been pondering on the title we wear as a species, can't be a coincidence: Human BEING.
So now I affirm: I AM willing to release the memory of my life and all that I know it to be with grace and ease. I AM willing to live in the now, to live each day as a new day with new experiences to create.
May we all free ourselves of limiting memories and step into the bliss of truth of our Divine Nature.
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