How I came over: Healing Trich with my spiritual practice
In May of 2006 I got radical about my healing. I had two addictive patterns in my life that were in control of me and had my self-esteem and self-worth in the toilet.
One was trichotillomania (trich), an obsesive compulsive disorder where one pulls out one's own hair. The other addiction was obsessive compulsive overeating. I had never had the eating problem on this level before but had always been an emotional eater. The trich was something that began at age 14 from being in a highly stressful home environment.
So at 36 years of age, I had two strongholds in my life that were so powerful that I did not quite know how I was going to make it out of them.
What had been going on was that I was in the midst of my initiation into the sacred feminine mysteries (SFM). This process is one that required me to look at my conditionings, my limiting beliefs and the strongholds in my life and to release, heal and transform them.
The SFM initiatory process is what led me to having regular spiritual practices in my life.
It was doing my healing work and rituals that made me begin to realize that overcoming a 22 year trich addiction and recent food addiction was even a possibility.
So in May of 2006 I set myself on the most intensive self-healing experience that I have ever had. I sat in my house for 3 weeks and got deep into the trich OCD. In my mind I was no different from someone who was healing from a major medical condition. I barely left the house for three weeks.
Trich is an OCD that most people try to treat through the mental health field. Now let me interject this, I did not even know I had an OCD until just a couple of years before 2006. Trich was not out of control in my life until after I had children. So taking the route of going to a mental health professional was not my preferred choice.
As I looked at my healing options to transform this behavior, I knew that I would have to improve my mental health but I decided to use Alcholics Anonymous approach and turn myself over to my Higher Power, The Great Mother.
I journaled every feeling that led me to the urge to pull out my hair. I prayed. I let trich talk to me and tell me what it was really all about. I began to see a pattern emerge: trich represents when I feel powerless and out of control.
I called on friends to pray for me. I read one spiritual work after the other. I began to replace the lie that I told myself daily, "trich has control over me...I have to do this," with "Trich is my body's way of letting me know that I am off center or that I am dealing with a limiting thought."
I did all kinds of nurturing activities such as take warm healing baths. I began to love on myself. More than anything I stopped judging myself for having this OCD. The loss of judgment was the greatest spiritual tool that I used to transform this behavior because doing so released me from the shame and guilt I felt for engaging in trich.
By the time the three weeks was over I emerged a new woman. Trich was still part of me but I was SO grateful for this experience. I realized that trich called me to dig very deeply and to call on the Great Mother/God to help me move past it.
I was grateful for trich because I realized that it had helped me cope at a time when I was a young girl who felt powerless to change my life's circumstances.
Many people with trich don't think that they can ever beat it. I remember hearing from them thinking, "There is no way that I am going to allow this to control me forever." It was through making a decision and working my spiritual practice like I have never worked it and continue to do so that trich is no longer a stronghold in my life.
Do I still deal with the urges? Yep. You bet I do. But they come and they go. I catch myself and tune into my body and decide what I need to do instead of pulling out my hair.
The same is true for my eating addiction. I have spiritually practiced my way out of it, too.
Part of the reason I work my spiritual practice so hard is because it is what keeps me in the KNOW that I am powerful beyond measure.
So when I talk about the power in my practice, it is not something that I have merely heard about...it is my life. It is what I know.
I encourage you to TEAR DOWN THE STRONGHOLDS IN YOUR LIFE! Use your spiritual tools; work your spiritual practice DAILY!
May you bask in the love of the Great Mother.
Advisability of posting as written: Het Heru Hetep
If you wish to read about the specific resources that I used to move past trich, Pull Free At Last is one of them. I first read Abby Roher's book, What's Wrong With Pulling Out My Hair, in the 2006 healing session that I put myself through. I subsequently participated in one of her healing intensive groups at the top of 2008. I HIGHLY recommend using her experience and healing modalities as methods of moving out of trichotillomania.
And while ultimately doing the healing work that Abby suggests is what has led me to moving past hair pulling, it was EFT that helped me to get stable enough that I could choose to not pull when I felt the need to pull out my hair. Here you will find a story about a hair puller's success with EFT. Be sure to download your free starter package. EFT is helpful in so many regards.