So Long to the Superstar-Made-Up-Self! Hello to Authentic ME!
Sometimes I am hesitant to embark on fasts and spiritual journeys into understanding the truths of life. This is because I always fall deep into the lessons of the fast or truth.
So this fast is about dying. I promise you when I wrote the fast invite, I was doing great. I was soaring. I was living life like it was golden.
Today, this first day of spring, this second day of the waning moon cycle, I find myself on the verge of a spiritual death.
I tell people often that I am used to this life-death-rebirth cycle. I know that on the other side of it lies more. Not more in the sense that life will be any different, but more in the sense that I will be more me and less of my super-star-made-up-self.
This message is pure, it is raw, it is just me right now. I am not attempting to pass on any spiritual truths or teach a new age method of anything.
I write to let you know that I am so in the midst of this death message. I am shivering. I am crying. I am releasing. It is good, though. AND it is grief.
I have thought a particular way for so long that to let it all go, well I am letting a part of myself go. But I honor that part of myself as good. Not that I always landed in a good place operating in that way.
But she served her purpose in my life. As fearful as she has been, she has been my friend.
But I know that it is time for me to take my ego out of the drivers seat in my life and time for me to walk in the New-New.
Breaking up with ego sometimes feels like breaking up with a significant other. And then to have my new love, The New-New, my true self, waiting for me with open arms, offering me a new paradigm, a new way of understanding life...so sweet.
I look back at my ego-girl and I feel for her. She is just so pitiful. But she's gotta find her place. I am going to operate from my center and as I do so, I am going to breathe beauty into my ego.
She is now the puppet and my new level of consciousness is the puppeteer.
So join me in saying good-bye to the old me. And join me in saying hello to the true me.
Recently I wrote my eulogy using past tense. My godmother encouraged me to rewrite it in the present tense and to make that my method of operation.
Here it is as I honor the new me: