Oh SNAP! What have I gotten myself into!?!
December 3, 2007
Sheesh. This fast is proving to be a bit more challenging than I anticipated. First of all it is being started during the waning moon. This is a time of release. I be doggone I am releasing some stuff. I am so emotional right now.
I thought that I would report that the first few days of the fast would be easy. But this is just not so. I have already been craving my sweets.
Telling the two friends that I chat with most on the phone that I would not be chatting for 3 weeks proved to be way more difficult than I expected.
My sh*t is rising. I have been yelling at my kids. I have been angry. My inner victim has decided to emerge.
Dag! There's more but need I go on? So tonight is truly nurture myself night. I think I am going to have a good cry...about what I have NO idea! But I am gonna cry.
I will take a healing bath. Pray. I must pray and with that I will also be listening.
I don't remember this happening often but I remember having growing pains as a child. I would grow so fast that literally my bones would hurt.
Well, Maat said that this fast would be about expansion. Surely I have been in the midst of expansion for a couple of months now. Tonight I am feeling the growing pains because so much is going so fast inside of me.
I always have to go back to my boy, Neo. Once you take that freakin' red pill...you just can't go back. You wonder why you didn't take the blue pill. But you know that the blue pill was really a boring, safe, somewhat depressing life...so maybe the red pill ain't so bad after all.
I remember feeling this way as my initiation wound down so I know that I will be fine. As a matter of fact, things will be better than fine because with growth comes fullness and a remembrance of wholeness.
Seems like I heard my friend, Pastor Vinnie, say that nobody said that change would be easy, that it would not involve its own challenges. So I count it all joy!
I even have to laugh a little because I hear in my head what I say to people when they are where I am in this moment: "I am SO excited for you. You are truly in the midst of shedding the old to embrace the new. You are in the midst of a growth!" It is amazing how my words always come back to me.
So with that...I am going to ride this wave out. See where I land on the other side of this thing. My Iya said that it is all beautiful.
Faith. I have faith that it is beautiful.
I pray that your fast is going well despite what may be or may not be happening. Let us all be in prayer with and for each other.
This is such a good thing. Just remember to love and nurture yourself. Take a jasmine and epsom salt baths. Allow your emotions to provide information rather than whisk you away. Remember, you have choices.
I love you.
PS You know...I usually do a reading to find out if what I have written is acceptable. I simply cannot get a positive reading after revising this thang. Just know that this is not my most positive piece of writing. I am simply sharing and just keeping it real. So take what works for you and leave the rest.
After adding the PS...Advisability of me posting blog as is: Tehuti+, Seker Hetep