My Inner Victim....My Teacher!
Victim. Yes, this archetypal energy works with me daily. Or should I say I work with it? It was during my initiation into the Sacred Feminine Mysteries that I began to fully understand how much the victim consciousness saturated my being. My inner Victim is an energy that has come to assist me with rising to my highest and greatest good.
But before she takes me there, she is taking me to what I call the depths of hell within.
I first learned about the Victim as an archetypal energy from Caroline Myss. First of all, I learned that we all have this energy within us. Every person has the energy of the victim as a part of there energetic make up. The difference lies in how we decide to experience it for the Victim can express in the negative or the positive.
Understanding that the Victim is both positive and negative was challenging for me at first because I have never thought being a victim to be a positive thing.
However, based on what Myss has written, the Victim is the guardian of our self-esteem. So being a victim, or not, is largely tied to how we value ourselves. This is a life lesson for me. This is a lesson that my soul came here to learn, experience and grow through. My greatest success will come in transforming my consciousness from victim to victor.
My inner Victim has a way of making me think that some how things are done to me. She has a way of making me think that a CHOICE that I made is actually a situation where something is being done to me against my will.
My inner Victim is also a comfortable place for me. She is where I go when I get in fear. At one point I would not have noticed it. I would have felt fearful and then felt like a victim and that was just how it was.
But now I have had large enough gaps of time where my inner Victim is in esteem and have realized signs when she is out of esteem that when she comes manifesting in the negative, I can sense her right away.
My decision to do more with my life, to move to a higher level of success and abundance in all things has brought up my usual fear of failure which has lead me to my comfort zone of feeling like, "Poor pitful me." I figured this out yesterday.
BUT...thank the Goddess that I can no longer stand to feel that way. So I have acknowledged my inner Victim and am now bringing her on board. What she is greatly assisting me in is remembering that I am the co-creator of my reality...me and The Great Mother. That if there is anything in my life that I don't like, I created it by choice.
She is helping me to remember that I am always at CHOICE. That nobody put a gun to my head and made me decide that I want to live differently. That at any given moment I can choose to go back to living how I was living. My inner Victim is helping me to remember TO ACCEPT RESPSONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN LIFE!!!!!!
And for this I am so grateful. Because in accepting responsibility for all of my life, I don't feel like anything is being done to me. Instead I feel empowered, powerful and in control. And therein lies a key to self-esteem.
So Inner Victim...thank you yet again. I used to hate you but now love you for taking me to the depths of hell. For it is going there that helps me to appreciate the highest heights.
Keep schoolin' me Ancient Mothers.
Your Dawta' Olufemi-Marfar iel
ASHE (AND SO IT IS!)
Energy surrounding this blog entry: Geb Hetep