Use the Law of Attraction to Create the Family You Desire!
N.B. I wrote this article in August, 2006.
In the midst of family life I have been in a seriously deep spiritual journey over the last year. I began unschooling in September, 2005. I listened to the unschoolers, especially the radical unschoolers on the unschoolingbasics yahoogroup, and just did not know how this would all work. My son learning all kinds of things without my direction? Children dictating when they would sleep, how they would eat, what they watched on TV and how much?! It was a lot for me to grasp initially but I will say that it totally resonated with me.
Fast forward to today. My family lives the unschooling life. I do so because it is what is easier for me and what makes my children most happy. PERIOD. I could do all of these things that I THINK I should do to produce happy, well-adjusted, successful children but that has proven to be more work than I am willing to put forth. You see, I am stepping into the realization that I am the creator of my Universe. I write the script of my life. And as I step more fully into this truth by consciously LIVING it, I am realizing just how wonderfully amazing and EASY the unschooling family lifestyle is.
What I am studying now is called the science of manifestation or the law of attraction. The essence of this universal law, this universal truth is that we get what we most focus our attention on. So often we have been programmed to believe that certain things are needed in order to produce the perfect children we are taught that we all desire. We, for whatever reason, buy into this hook, line and sinker. You know what I am talking about: "healthy" children only eat........; children NEED 9 hours of sleep every NIGHT in order to function properly; TOO MUCH TV is not good for a child's mind....The list goes on and on and on. Oh, here are a few good ones, too, "You have to teach a child to respect you." "Children are so naive and lack experience to really know."
I bought into these, too, at some point. But as I unfold spiritually, as I begin to paint the picture of my family as I truly want it, as I learn the spiritual truth of the law of attraction, I realize that we see in our children so much of what we don't want because we are focusing on what we don't want rather than what we do want to see in them.
One of my main hang ups is health. I have always had a focus on my health and have even worked to live what I deem to be a healthy lifestyle. My children entered our family at a time when I was beginning to deconstruct my life as I had thought it was supposed to be and began to step into my own inner truth. Needless to say this has been a time of supreme resistance so I have definitely been in the ebb when it comes to having the health and body that I desire. As a result, my children have been exposed to all sorts of foods. Some deemed as very healthy and other as very unhealthy by the community at large. And because I see that my children are pretty smart guys, they have taking a liking to the finer things in life: sugar, chips, desserts, white donuts (that is my 3 yr olds rave right now) and all kinds of foods that I NEVER thought "my" children would eat.
Even though I have been in the ebb, I remained committed to finding my way back to the flow of health. But with my health nut filter, I have been angry, afraid and embarrassed by how and what my children eat some days. It was the unschoolers who first helped me to realize that it is totally okay to let a child decide what, how much and when a child wants to eat. This is actually the first area that I made my greatest unschooling leap in. I decided that I would no longer dictate what my children ate, but instead I would have a nice variety of foods for them to select from offering no judgment on how and when they eat them. I really did this on faith based on what my unschooling family said. Amazingly I found that it really worked. The less judgment I made of food as bad and good, the less I focused on what they were eating that I did not like, the more I realized that they make really healthy choices in what they eat AND that they were making even more healthy choices than I thought.
I recently have begun to write a new script for my life based on understanding that if I am overweight, it is because I am attracting that into my life. If I am unhealthy, dis-ease is coming my way because I am attracting it. I decided that I want the body that I had before my babies AND I want health. Since setting these intentions, I have begun to naturally and easily adjust my lifestyle to accommodate my sleek, sexy and beautiful body and to create health in my body, mind and spirit. As a result of my own focus on eating healthy and choosing to only eat foods that make my body feel its best, my family is doing the same, including my husband.
My husband and I have been fasting off and on for various reasons since the beginning of this year. My older son who had proudly proclaimed that he was a carnivore will tell us that he is fasting from meat and including fruits and veggies in his fast. I get amazed because he is serious. I notice that when I fix myself a salad, my younger son will come to me as if I am a magnet and sit and eat most of the salad.
So what I am saying is that whatever life you wish to envision for your family, then what needs to happen is that you need to think about it LOTS! Even if you don't see your vision in physical form, live as if you already have what you want. FEEL IT! Feel the peace, the love, the harmony that you seek to be the very fabric of your family's essence. And the more you do that, the more you focus on what you DO want, the less you focus on what your children are doing that you DON'T want, the more quickly your wishes, dreams and desires for your family will come to you all.
So as I think about new unschoolers, as I think about people who wonder IF unschooling can work for their family, I think, it can work if you only imagine it, only if you dream it. Fear of failure will slow things down. But what I am finding is the most important key is that I am to live that life, the qualities, the moralsthat I want my children to live FIRST. I believe when I am living my best life, being my best self, then what others do will have no impact on my peace. But, if I can model this for my children, what a gift I will give to them: an example of a person who followed her bliss, lived the life of her dreams and died with a smile on her face having no regrets.
This life, I am finding, is truly unschooling for me and my family. As we continue to create the life of our dreams, as we continue to write the script of our lives to only include that which makes us peaceful, I wish you the same.......