Emotions...Where do they come from and how do we use them to transform our lives?
Now let's understand emotions before we go any further. When we are born, we come here unconditioned. As tiny babies we begin to collect information about our world and those who live in it. Our parents, family and the people around us give us constant messages about ourselves and how to operate in this world.
Essentially, we begin to draw certain conclusions about our environment, we establish a definite belief system and begin to operate in a certain manner based on these conclusions and beliefs. All of this becomes the programming of our ego selves. Our ego is the part of us that seems most real because we are most connected to our physical form as well as to our personality. A wise priest once called it "The Super Star Made Up Self."
This programming becomes associated with a definite feeling in your body. You may feel sadness in one situation, anger in another and still yet happiness in yet another situation. All of it is learned behavior and becomes part of our programming and how we operate in the world.
The problem enters when our emotions are not working for us. This is a key indicator that there is some aspect that is in need of healing. Our essential nature, at the very core of our inner Goddess is peace. When our expression is not one of peace, then we know that we are dealing with our conditionings.
The problem is that so often our emotional responses are automatic responses. We don't even think about why we are responding the way that we do, we just respond.
BUT when we consciously experience our emotions asking why do we feel the way that we do and examining if this particular emotion is rendering the results we desire, then we set ourselves up for in depth healing.
The other thing that I have come to learn is how addicted we are to our emotions. They become so much a part of us that we will subconsciously seek experiences that will allow us to experience the very emotion that is causing us problems. So, at some level we have to work to release our attachments to our emotions, which also means that we will need to examine how we were raised, our views of the world and why we do what we do.
So emotions can be problematic but they can also be really good, too! Again, when we have emotions that are not providing the results that we desire, then we have an opportunity to heal and grow. This same negative emotion can also be translated as you are now not in alignment with your highest desire. When you are experiencing emotions that feel good, then you know that you are in alignment with your highest and greatest good.
Our emotions are roadmaps that lead us to the destinations in our lives where we find qualities such as peace, love, joy, harmony, creativity and happiness. No matter how much or little clarity you have in your life, your emotions can assist you with determining if you are on point or off track.
The energy of the Goddess can assist you with healing your life through healing your emotions.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH EMOTIONS...
I am truly an emotional person. Always have been and always will be comfortable with the fact that I view emotions as a healthy response while in human form.
But when I began to consciously analyze my emotions, I began to get information that allowed me to go within, heal wounded parts of my self that are expressing themselves via my emotions and transform the emotion so that it works with me.
One of the most puzzling emotions that I have ever experienced is anger. I have always considered myself to be very peace-loving and harmonious. I have always gone out of my way to avoid angry confrontations and fights. However, this view of myself began to change after giving birth to my first son.
Now this is a child who is just perfect. I just did not know that. He cried ALOT. He breastfed around the clock. He only slept when I did. And he was most happy being carried the majority of the day.
Here I am, the sweet, peaceful parenting mother who has found herself in a situation that is new and rather disturbing.
I had no problems with loving and caring for this child. I loved the breastfeeding- co-sleeping-carry-the-baby all the time lifestyle that I had created. However, there were times when I did not want to do any of it, but my son had other plans. He would accept no less than what felt right to him and I felt moved and obligated to give him the level of nurturance that he desired....even if I didn't want to at times.
I began to feel anger welling within me. I remember several times when I had problems with breastfeeding early on that I threw books and yelled at the top of my lungs. These responses were foreign to me and I honestly did not know their source or how I had gotten to that point.
As my son got older, I got angrier. Not because he was abnormal, out of control or anything like that. I got angrier because he began to blossom into his own person which did not always vibe with who I "thought" he should be.
Then one day I decided that I just absolutely could not take being angry at a child who was simply being a child. I decided that what I wanted was a healthy, loving relationship between the two of us for a lifetime. I knew that if I continued to be angry with him all the time, this relationship would not be possible.
So, after deep forgiveness exercises, forgiving me for being angry and mean to my child, I began to be conscious in my angry states. Initially, I would still lose my temper but I did so while feeling the emotion. Literally, I would dive into the emotion as I was expressing it to find its source.
Everytime I realized that my anger had NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SON AND WHAT HE DID. It all stemmed from a previous experience, my own individual beliefs that were being challenged or my own sense of a lack of power.
After a while I came up with a game plan. I would feel the emotion and walk away from my son. Instead of lashing out at him, I would allow the anger to run its course. It had a wave like effect. It rose, peaked and descended. Once I was able to think with a clear head I would step my way back through the emotion. I would think of what my son did that triggered the anger. I would then have a dialogue with myself about why his behavior angered me, really? Usually, I would come to the conclusion that all I needed to do was instruct my son regarding the event instead of being angry with him.
I would then go back even further. I would ask why I thought what he did was so bad. Usually, I would hear something that was said to me as a child or I would think about my super-star-made-up-self and realize that his behavior took away from that image of myself.
This process gave me the ability to begin to transform my beliefs, my programming and my ego. What I did was release the limiting beliefs that lead me to the angry expression. I then replaced them with new programming. First, I told myself over and over again that my son is normal and does things that children do. I also told myself that if I could not think of a valid reason as to why he should not engage in the behavior, then I would just have to suck it up and let him do his thing. He should not have to do anything just because it pleases me.
Second, I began to learn spiritual truths and replace my limiting beliefs with the truths A frequent limiting belief had to do with my personal power. I would think, "I am powerless. I have no control." I replaced that with Marianne Williamson's words, "I am powerful beyond measure."
Lastly, if there were events in my life that needed healing, I would allow myself the room to heal those parts through crying, journaling and realizing the lessons and gifts.
This is a process that I use to this day. I still have undercurrents of anger that I feel regarding my son's behaviors at times. What I do is bless him and them for their places in my life and the gift of a growth opportunity. AS a result, I have the loving relationship with my son, who I now view as one of the greatest Master Teachers of my life.