Self-Love Is How To Love Another Person

Instead of trying to love them more, love you more!

Sometimes the person we love doesn't need us to love them more. Sometimes that person is calling us to be more of who we are.

There are so many of us who stoop low but love big. We love so much that we put our own spiritual growth and development on hold. All we can see, all that we pay attention to is getting love from another.

But what happens when the other says through word or deed, "I really don't want this kind of love from you." Then what do we do?

If you are like me then you try to love them harder. You seek to be exactly who you think they want you to be and maybe, just maybe they will love you more.

BUT...what if on a spiritual level that person whose love you desire more than anything is calling you higher...higher in your consciousness, in your awareness?

What if they are actually calling you to BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE INSTEAD OF WHO YOU THINK THEY WANT YOU TO BE?

I write this as I ponder on my relationship with my husband. I am touchy feely. I am a nurturer by nature. I love to love people and get a great deal of good feeling and joy from seeing other people feel good by what I have done for them.

Well, when you are in a relationship with someone who is self-sufficient, not touchy feely and not in need of much nurturance at all...that can throw a kink in your normal way of doing things.

I thought about this morning how I have had to learn how to love my husband in a way that is comfortable for him. Though we exchange hugs and kisses he just doesn't need as many as I do and as I like to give. Nothing personal...it is just how he is.

I also thought about how important it is to him that I do what I say I am going to do. I have dropped the ball on so many things. In the past I would have said that I executed my right to change my mind.

That is okay. Many of my decisions have been made with faulty thinking. I have had big plans but have had small thoughts regarding whether or not I can do all of what I say I will do. So let's just say some plans have gone undone.

My husband has pretty much gone into, "She is who she is. No need to change her." mode with me. I appreciate that he has not beat me up with reminding me of how many times I have not done what I have said that I would do in so many areas of my life.

As I pondered our relationship what I saw was me sitting low looking at him trying to figure out a new angle for expressing my love for him.

And what I saw him doing was him looking down at me saying, "I need you to stand up and be more of who you are. I will not waiver from asking you to be the best that you can be. That is the best way that you can love me. Do you and do you well."

Now I am not saying this is what he is actually saying in his mind. But in my mind this is what I am experiencing. It is not that I needed to love him harder or stronger. It is not that I have needed to put my life on hold in order to be this loving and devoted and self-less wife.

It is that I have needed to be who I am. I have needed to live the truth of who I am. There is something about living truth. I feel more stable in who I am. My mind is not constantly changing because truth doesn't change...it is only our application of truth that changes.

When I am living the truth of who I am I do what I say I am going to do. I am happier. I take the responsibility of loving me off him and place it on myself. The greatest love that I can have for my husband is loving him just how he is not needing him to be or do anything for that love to come forth.

So that is why I say that there are some of us who need to stop seeking the right angle to make that person love us. The best angle you can take is that of loving you and being the best you. When you bring the best you to the table, good things will happen. No one wakes up with a broken heart because each person in the relationship takes responsibility for their own self.

Today I ask you to ponder if the person who you think is hard on you or has not loved you or however you think of this person....is it that they did not love you? OR Is it that on a spiritual level they insisted on you being your best self; they would not waiver from asking to your transcend you lack and limiting thoughts regarding you?

There is a need for a paradigm shift regarding relationships. Let's take the first step and begin this shift within our own selves. Love you first and the rest is icing on the cake.

Doing my best self,

Tirra-Olufemi

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