Understanding Faith in the Midst of Tragedy
December 8, 2007
Truly I am being given an opportunity to understand faith this day. Yesterday I found out that a cousin killed his daughter and then himself.
Of course this is a complete and utter shock to the family. This cousin may have done some stuff, but we never would imagine that he would kill his beautiful daughter and then himself.
This happened yesterday and I truly felt like I had been dropped in the middle of something on television because this tragedy seems so unreal.
Many of my friends and I talk about how differently we look at life and death, in particular, now that we have grown spiritually. When I first heard the news of my cousins, I wanted to scream and cry. Actually I did on the inside but I could not express any emotion because my children were with me when I found out.
But after a short while my mind shifted to this faith lesson in which I am in the midst. How is this helping me with faith? What does any of this have to do with me?
This cousin is through marriage, so he is actually on my husband's side of the family. And though this cousin was one of my favorites, he is not one I talked to on regular basis, especially since I have moved from the city where he lived.
I am saying all of this to say that though I feel sadness especially for that sweet baby girl, in my mind my sadness is nothing compared to those who were more a part of his intimate circle.
So I chose not to grieve too much and instead support those who are most distraught. But because I was in the midst of all the after math of this madness, I HAVE to figure out what The Great Mother is teaching me. And I know this is just the beginning.
One of the first things that came to me as I prayed was that all is Divine Order. I began to remember how this Universe operates, that these spiritual laws are immutable and always in operation.
One of these laws or truths is that we are all Divinity in human form. We are Divine first, physical second. And because we are all Gods and Goddesses, there is a Divine plan for our lives for which we have everything to do with creating and implementing.
So when I began to look at this situation from that perspective, it helped me to consider that there is bigger picture to this situation. This broader perspective also helps me to surrender my desire to control that over which I have no control and to trust that The Great Mother/God has got the situation covered.
The next thought to me from The Great Mother was actually a question. She asked me, "Do you still believe in the abundance and all the good things that you say about me? In light of situations like these, do you still believe in the abundance of God?"
This was a pretty profound thought to me because my life is good despite anything I may say. My life is easy and it is good. I have no complaints. And it is so freakin' easy for me to talk about how good the Universe is when I am standing in a life such as mine.
But in the midst of tragedy, will I still send up the most high praises to the Great Mother? When I do not understand how something could be? When my own cousin is at the top of the news hours on every local channel? When I see my family falling a part... my mother in law sobbing, I hear the grandmother of this cousin wailing....in the midst of all of this is God still good? Is the Great Mother still the wellspring of abundance? Do I still experience Source Energy as good?
Faith is making me say "Yes" unequivocally to all of those questions. And what The Great Mother helped me to see is that my cousin was experiencing the exact opposite in the moment he took his daughter's life as well as his own.
And it is for that reason that I have compassion for him. I do not condone in the least bit what he did. Many of us are saying that if we could we would kill him for killing Iyanna. But still the understanding that I continue to gain of how the Universe works is leading me to feel complete and utter compassion for my cousin.
I don't think I will ever again look at someone who does these kinds haneous acts as less than human. When it is not your family you hear these kinds of stories and the person is so two dimensional. They are not even a real person, just Satan incarnate.
But now that I know one of these people...it is something that is difficult to explain. I now understand the human side of this and feel compassion.
This is a different and somewhat uncomfortable place for me, but seeing the bigger picture and having faith in Divine Order and The Great Mother is where I am in this moment.
Lastly, as a priestess I know that I never land in these situations by chance. I always know that there is some work for me to do that others may not know to do. So it is an honor and a privelege for me to do some special spiritual work in this situation for the family and especially for the souls of my cousins.
I remember yesterday deciding that instead of breaking down (again, the closer family members' grief is way more important to me), I would sit and allow all the loving and consoling energy of the Great Mother to come through me into the situation, into the hearts that are broken and any other place it was needed.
Again, these were simple acts that at the very least made me feel like I was in service in some way. And being in service is what being a priestess is all about. Being in service is what life is all about.
There is so much healing to be done as evidenced by this very tragic event. There are so many of us who are reading this who know that there is some significant contribution we are to make. I suggest to you that it will be each one of us doing something, anything to usher in an even greater experience of love here on the Earth, in the Universe.
Hopefully, we will save other Iyanna's in the world from dying at the hands of their parents.
I ask that you pray for the family. I am fine. My hubby and children are fine. We will grieve for our cousins. But pray for Larry and Iyanna's family. Send light and love toward the healing for all the family and this world. That is all that we can do at this point.
I will continue to see what understanding of faith I gain as each day of the aftermath of this wildness continues.
I give thanks to The Great Mother for carrying me. I give thanks for walking in the knowing that I am never separated from the Source of All.
Walking in the Light, I AM
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